Quick, Healthy, and Easy! Homemade Hummus

That bowl o' barf actually is yummy, yummy homemade hummus!

Hummus

one can garbanzo beans
1/2 cup tahini*
juice of a lemon
garlic clove, peeled, sprinkled with salt, and mashed into a paste
water
salt and freshly ground pepper
paprika

Rinse the garbanzo beans and add to food processor, along with tahini, lemon juice, garlic paste, and a (hefty, but don't overseason) touch of salt and pepper. Process until there are no visible chunks of garbanzo beans left. Add about 1/3 cup of water and process. Continue adding water a little bit at a time until desired consistency is acheived. Taste for seasoning and adjust as needed.
Transfer hummus to a bowl and sprinkle paprika over. Enjoy the hummus with fresh vegetables or toasted pita bread.

You can make the hummus any flavors you want! I did a sundried tomato and basil hummus, which gave it a gorgeous salmon pink color with flecks of green thorough the hummus. I suggest roasted red peppers, fresh herbs, cumin, spinach, olives, and so on! Adjust the amount of ingredients to taste. If you don't like the taste of tahini, don't use as much! Or if you wish for it to be more garlicky, add more garlic! You get the idea :)

*tahini: sesame paste made from lightly roasted sesame seeds. Tahini can be found in most speciality food stores, though I'm not sure about supermarkets! Check the international food section, namely the Middle East food section.

Eat leeks in tide and garlic in May, and all the year after physicians may play.

I got rid o' my vLogs because heck I never like my productions! I do that quite often..delete vLogs after I post 'em! I don't sign right, I make funny faces, and whatnot! Probably not true, but I think so heh aanndd I think as I go, so my points are all over the place and I don't explain things very well. So, I found a great vLog that gets my point across better : )

Jon Savage's BULLY ASL

Homemade Eggnog

4 egg yolks
1/3 cup + 1 tbsp sugar
1 pint whole milk
1 cup heavy cream
3 ounces bourbon
1 tsp freshly grated nutmeg
4 egg whites

In bowl of a stand mixer, beat the egg yolks until they lighten in color. Gradually add the 1/3 cup sugar and continue to beat until it is completely dissolved. Add the milk, cream, bourbon, and nutmeg and stir to combine.
Place the egg whites in a clean bowl of a stand mixer and beat to soft peaks. With the mixer still running, gradually add 1 tbsp sugar and beat until stiff peaks forms.
Fold the egg whites into the yolk mixture. Chill and serve.
Cooked Eggnog for high risk populations:
Beat the yolks in a stand mixture until they lighten in color. Gradually add 1/3 cup of sugar and beat until dissolved. Set aside.
In medium saucepan, over high heat, comvine the milk, heavy cream, nutmeg, and bring just to a boil, stirring occasionally. Remove from heat and gradually temper the hot mixture into the egg and sugar mixture, then return everything to the pot and cook until the mixture reaches 160 degrees. Remove from heat, stir in bourbon, pour into medium bowl, and set in refrigerator to chill.
In medium mixing bowl, beat the egg whites to soft peaks. With the mixer running, gradually add 1 tbsp sugar and beat until stiff peaks form. Whisk into chilled mixture.

**
Soup with potatoes and leeks have got to be my favorite. This recipe worked well, but I was upset I didn't have any bacon! Cook the veggies in bacon fat and crumble some bacon over the soup at the end. Yumm-o!

Potato Leek Soup



a lot of butter or even better, bacon fat!!
a pound of medium size potatoes of any kind (used red), diced
two medium leeks, white and light green part only, cleaned and sliced
small onion, diced (don't need onions, but I had some I wanted to use up)
four cups warmed free range low sodium chicken broth
1/2-1 cup heavy cream (preferred), milk, or half-and-half
salt and pepper
dill

Heat up the fat in a large pot over medium-high and add the vegetables. Season with salt. Cook until softened slightly, 5 to 7 minutes. Add enough warmed broth to cover vegetables; bring to boil. Reduce heat and simmer for twenty minutes until potatoes are cooked through. Smash the potatoes slightly with wooden spoon and stir in cream. Cook a bit longer until soup has thickened.
In small batches (SRSLY. small batches, okay?? otherwise the soup is gonna explode!), puree in blender and return to pot. Reheat soup, taste for seasoning (I added white pepper. Freshly ground black pepper works, but white isn't visible). Stir in dill and serve.

Cinnamon and Ginger, Nutmegs and Cloves, And that, gave me my jolly red nose!

OYSTERS UNDER THE CUT, UNDER MY RANTIN' REGARDING MFCS (shakes fist) YEAH GO CHECK IT OUT HUH

Mmm cinnamon rolls. My first attempt some time ago was a tasty disaster. I had filled it with thinly sliced apples and well, what came out of the oven didn't quite look like a cinnamon roll. It was a bunch of widely spaced spiral rolls with apples peeking out! It just was not a cinnamon roll. I don't know what it was!!

This time, I made teeny weeny almond cinnamon rolls with almond extract and sliced almonds tucked away in the rolls. Fucken awesome stuff- Jesse and I ate fifty-six (the whole lot) in a single day!

Teeny Weeny Almond Cinnamon Rolls



dough: 1 package active dry yeast
1/2 cup warm water (105-115 degrees)
1/2 cup lukewarm milk (scalded then cooled)
1/3 cup sugar
1/3 cup butter
1 tsp salt
1 egg
3 1/2 - 4 cups all-purpose flour
fillings: 1/2 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup melted butter
2 tsp ground cinnamon
1 tsp almond extract
couple handfuls sliced almonds
(this was not enough filling for me! I suggest ya up everything by a bit)

Dissolve yeast in warm water in large bowl. Stir in milk, sugar, butter, salt, egg, and 2 cups of the flour. Beat until smooth. Mix in enough flour to make dough easy to handle.
Turn dough onto lightly floured surface, knead until smooth and elastic, about five minutes. Place in greased bowl; turn greased-side up. Cover; let rise in warm place until doubled, about 1 1/2 hours. Dough is ready when indentation made with your finger slowly rises up (if it holds its place, it is over-risen).
Punch down dough and separate into quarters. Roll each section out into flat rectangles as thick as tortillas.
In small bowl, mix together filling ingredients, except almonds. Spread about a quarter of the mixture onto each flat sheet of dough and sprinkle a light, scattered layer of almond slices over. Roll the dough up jelly-roll style. Slice each roll into sections, each section being a finished minature (or large as you wish) cinnamon roll. Place each roll cut-end down on a baking sheet and allow rolls to rise for about 35-40 minutes, then bake at 375 degrees for 10 minutes for small rolls, 20 to 30 minutes for larger rolls.
For the glaze, mix a tablespoon of melted butter, a tablespoon of milk or cream, a teaspoon of almond extract, and 2-4 cups powdered sugar, depending on how thick you want your glaze to be. Glaze the rolls as soon as they're out of the oven to seal in the softness. Sprinkle toasted almonds* on top if you wish. Let them cool a few minutes then devour!
*almonds can be toasted in a skillet or 375 degrees oven for 4 to 6 minutes. keep an eye on them, for they will burn fast. toast until light golden brown.


So yeah, MFCS is bullshit ahaha it's too bad because I was totally excited about working at a farm store, but man.. yuck. Almost daily, I see three things wrong with raw chicken and all happening simultaneously! Raw chicken stored wrong, raw chicken sitting in a bowl of still water, and raw chicken left out on the counter by the grill for hours. I wouldn't dare to eat anything with chicken there! And countless times I noticed the meat smelled or looked really funky before slicing, so I'd always say something and the response was always awful like "Well, YOU have a heightened sense of smell than the rest of us. It's fine." Yeah I'm deaf so therefore my smelling must be a hundred thousand times superior than hearing people huh what even if that's true, use it to your advantage oh thank goddd someone caught the stanky smellin' meat before it was served! Man they were super rude about communicating with me. Rolled eyes and espagerated (sp!!) sighs when I write out a question or comment for someone (WHO-T SCOFFFS.) I also pointed out green meat once, and I was told color doesn't fucking matter. hell yes color matters! If your meat has gone from a nice soft pink to a putrid green, I think that's a damn indicator it's rotten. That place was also infested with flies it was disgusting. Flies spit into food, which dissolves it into liquid that they can absorb. And flies just absolutely love dog spit and rancid rotten food so what are they're bringing into that place, huh? The refrigerator's fucking awful. Way too over-crowded and it's often dripping wet. Shit spills all the time and when I let the owner know it's dirty, she was like yeah so? YEAH SO?!?? Good lord. I could go on, but jesus christ almighty I've said enough!!

So having a boyfriend who's a boat rigger has its perks! The other day, Jesse came home with a bag full o' oysters!! Pulled 'em off a bottom of one of the boats that came in for some fixin' and got like, thirty



I made a chipotle aioli, which was made by following the homemade mayonnaise recipe here and adding a buncha garlic softened with salt and smashed into a paste and a couple chipotles with about a tablespoon or more of adobo sauce. The oysters, after a long process of shuckin' em, were very lightly dredged in seasoned flour and sauteed for no more than ten seconds per side. Pretty dang tasty! Next time Jesse brings home a bunch o' oysters, I would love to make Leeks and Oyster Chowder mmmm.

All cornbread is authentic, as long as it's good, hot, and made with love and fresh ingredients.

Buttermilk Scallion Skillet Corn Bread



1 stick unsalted butter
6 scallions
2 cups stoneground yellow cornmeal
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
4 tsp sugar
1 tbsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
2 tsp salt
1 tbsp vegetable shortening or rendered bacon fat
4 large eggs
2 cups well-shaken buttermilk

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Melt butter and cool. Finely chop scallions. Into a bowl, sift together cornmeal, flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.
Heat a well-seasoned 10-inch cast-iron skillet in middle of oven for 10 minutes. Put shortening or bacon fat in skillet and heat 5 minutes (was too long for me! only did a minute or two). Swish skillet to coat.
While skillet is heating, make batter: separate eggs. In large bowl with an electric mixer, beat yolks until pale and beat in butter and buttermilk. In bowl with cleaned beaters, beat whites until they just hold stiff peaks. Stir flour mixture into yolk mixture and fold in egg whites and scallions gently but thoroughly. Pour batter into hot skillet and, working quickly, spread evenly.
Bake corn bread in middle of oven until a tester comes out clean, 20 to 25 minutes.

God sendeth and giveth both mouth and meat.

I made ahh-mazing ragu with things mom had sent in a care package. I highly recommend this recipe, for there's nothing better than a thick hearty meat sauce to go on top of some good ol' pasta.

Ragù con Porcini e Pinoli alla Ligure
Ragù with Porcini and Pine Nuts in the Style of Liguria



1/2 cup (30g) dried porcini*
4 tbsp extra-virgin olive oil
1 small onion, very finely chopped
2 large garlic cloves, very finely chopped
1/2 pound lean ground beef
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 cup dry red wine
1/4 cup pine nuts
1 tsp chopped fresh rosemary
1 bay leaf
4 tbsp tomato paste
1 1/4 pounds fresh or canned drained plum tomatoes, peeled, seeded and chopped

*subsitute 1/4 pounds fresh porcini, chanterelles, cremini, or shiitake mushrooms for the dried porcini

Soak the dried porcini in 3/4 cup of warm water for 30 minutes. Drain, reserving the soaking liquid. Squeeze out the excess water and then chop the porcini. Strain the liquid through paper towels and reserve.
Warm the oil in a wide pan over medium-low heat. Add the onion and garlic and saute until soft, 3-4 minutes.
Add the ground beef and salt, using a wooden spoon to break up the meat and turn it so that it browns evenly. Saute until light brown on the surface but still pinkish inside, about 5 minutes.
Pour in the wine and allow it to evaporate, about 2 minutes. Add the porcini, pine nuts, rosemary, bay leaf, and tomato paste. Stir, then add the porcini soaking liquor (substitue with 3/4 cup broth). Simmer until most of the liquid has evaporated, 5 minutes.
Stir in the tomatoes and simmer, partially covered, stirring frequently, until the sauce is thick and aromatic, about 45 minutes. Remove the pan from the heat. Check for salt and add pepper.

Not unless the chicken jumped out of the oven and banged one.

Some time ago, Jesse had a craving for roasted chicken, so I found a recipe for him to do. Well, I did all the prep work and he cooked the chicken. I'll still pass it off as his work ;) Don't mind the sauteed zucchini, squash, and shrooms in the picture. Just something I whipped up with leftovers!

Roasted Chicken with Herb Butter



3-4 pounds organic free-range chicken
1 medium onion, unpeeled and cut lengthwise into sections
4 tbsp dry white wine (didn't have any, so we used beer)
6 tbsp butter, room temperature
3 tbsp finely chopped parsley
1 tbsp finely snipped chives or finely chopped scallion
1 tsp finely chopped fresh tarragon or thyme leaves
1 tsp lemon juice
salt and pepper

First, make the herb butter. Put the butter in a bowl and beat it with a wooden spoon to soften it. Add the chopped herbs, scallion if using, lemon juice, and salt and pepper. Stir the ingredients together, then beat them vigorously until combined. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
Prepare the chicken*, putting two onion sections in the cavity of the bird before tying the legs with string. Put the remaining onion in the roasting pan.
Put the rack in the pan and place the bird on the rack. Spread the herb butter liberally all over the bird (I stuffed some of the butter under the breast skin), then spoon the white wine into the pan.
Turn the chicken upside down (on its boob) and roast for about 20 minutes or until browned, then turn it over so that it is breasy side up and baste it with the buttery cooking juices.
Return the chicken to the oven and roast for 55-70 minutes more, or until the thickest part registers 160 degrees when probe of instant-read thermometer is inserted.
Wrap the chicken in a large sheet of foil, then let it rest for about 15 minutes. Remove the rack and onion from the pan and make the gravy**

*Preparing a chicken:
With your fingers, pull off the excess white fat on both sides of the opening at the tail end of the bird.
Wipe the cavity with paper towels, then use a fresh piece to wipe the skin. The skin crisps better if dry.
Turn the bird breast side down and pull the neck skin over the neck cavity. If you like, cut off the excess skin with scissors to neaten it.
Twist the wings around so the tips come up and over the skin to secure it. Turn the bird breast side up and tie the legs together with string.

**Making gravy:
Tilt the roasting pan so the juices settle in one corner, then spoon off most of the fat, leaving the dark juices in the pan. Discard the surplus fat. Put the roasting pan on the burner, over medium heat.
Sprinkle 2 tsp all-purpose flour over the juices in the pan and whisk with a coil whisk over medium heat for 2-3 minutes until the flour browns a little.
Pour in 1 1/4 cups hot stock and bring to boil, whisking all the time. If you like, add 4 tbsp white or red wine; whisk to mix. Simmer for 2 minutes then check for seasoning.

Keys to success:
Defrost a frozen bird thoroughly before you prepare it, or it will not cook thoroughly. Pierce the wrapping, then stand the bird on paper towels in a container. Let stand in refrigerator for 36 hours until no ice crystals remain in the cavity.
For the skin to be crisp, it must be completely dry before cooking, so wipe it well with paper towels (do before rubbing on butter). This is especially important if the bird has been frozen, because it is often quite wet after defrosting.
If the breast skin shows signs of overbrowning during roasting, remove the chicken from oven, cover it with a "tent" of foil, and then return to oven.