Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go.

But sometimes I'm afraid I'm not strong enough.

I've been slowly falling out of love, but it has accelerated in the last two months or so. I no longer see him through rose tinted lenses. When I wake up in the morning and see him next to me, I no longer feel warm. Instead I'm disgusted. When I look at him, his flaws are screaming at me. I pull away at every embrace.

At this point, I don't know if it's repairable. After expressing my feelings over and over, he has been making an effort.. but only here and there. Maybe I'm not saying enough. I've always been horrible at sharing my thoughts and feelings. They're loud and clear in my head, but I'm never able to put it into words.

I dream about leaving, but I'm afraid of being alone. I'm afraid I will not make it by myself. I'm afraid no one will want me.

I need to be desired. I need someone to go through life with me. That's the only thing keeping me here.